Hey all. My buddy Max has posted some new comics, and I thought y'all would dip them.
First is Clyde in Amsterdam... this is NOT work friendly.
Second is Pumpkinship... of the two this is my favorite. But you should check them both out.
Feb 25, 2009
Feb 24, 2009
I'm BACKkkkk!!!
My GOD what a messed up few weeks. Being sick. Then taking meds... only to have side affects. After the med stuff I had to hurry and do t-shirt designs for a contest... it's great publicity if I win, and was for some very COOL guys, I like a bunch. More on that later as it develops.I'll be posting new stuff VERY soon. But until then I thought I would share a review of my Slide story I did last year. In October readcomics.org did a review, mostly positive, of said story. I should have posted this sooner... but I guess I was bashful. I met the reviewer, Jason, at Fall-con, he was very nice and it was a pleasure to talk to him.
Feb 16, 2009
More Delay
So I was sick right... I told ya'll about that Friday. I got better from these super strong meds. I was all a ready to get some stuff done... WELL it turns out the meds have some serious side affects. I was told there might... but didn't think much about it. Well there was... body cramps... insomnia... other gross stuff.
I'll be back on schedule soon.
I'll be back on schedule soon.
Feb 13, 2009
No Review This Week
Hey everyone,
You maybe wondering were this weeks comic review is. Well I've had a sinus... flu... I wish I would die thing all week. I felt like I had nails being pounded into my head. When I wasn't tripping and sweating cause of my fever, I was chattering my teeth with chills.
So I'll have a review up early next week (Mon or Tues), then post another later in the week (Thurs or Fri) to make up for it.
Sorry everyone
I've got to go now take some more meds
-Jesse Haller
You maybe wondering were this weeks comic review is. Well I've had a sinus... flu... I wish I would die thing all week. I felt like I had nails being pounded into my head. When I wasn't tripping and sweating cause of my fever, I was chattering my teeth with chills.
So I'll have a review up early next week (Mon or Tues), then post another later in the week (Thurs or Fri) to make up for it.
Sorry everyone
I've got to go now take some more meds
-Jesse Haller
Feb 12, 2009
Feb 11, 2009
Feb 10, 2009
Feb 9, 2009
Feb 5, 2009
Early 90's Nintendo Ad
While doing the review for this week I found this print ad for the Turbo Touch 360 controller. Is it JUST me... or does this... look like he is doing more then "pumping" more power into that Nintendo.
X-Force 19
Alright boys and girls. This week I'm arming myself with a gun atop of a gun, that is attached to a bigger gun, to blast my way through X-Force (vol. 1) 19, from 1993. Written by Fabian Nicieza and penciled by Greg Capullo.
In the late 1980's, Rob Liefeld started writing and drawing the X-Men spin-off book New Mutants. With the introduction of Cable, the book became so popular that New Mutants was renamed X-Force. Liefeld soon left Marvel, along with other top name artists, to form Image. This issue is a few months after Liefeld's departure. Walking into this issue is much like entering the restroom after someone just finished… you can still smell the shit.
X-Force 19
Like most early 90's comics covers, the left-hand corner has headshots of the stars of the book. Which is fine, it's a quick way to know who is in the comic while shopping. The problem is that Domino and Cable's are there, when they DON'T appear in the comic at ALL. In fact Cable is suppose to be "dead".
Professor Xavier, Storm, and Cannonball, the only actual member of X-Force, appear on the main part of the cover. The action here is the most intense part of this book; at no point does anyone fight. Storm on this cover is a joke, she’s only in two pages, never wears her uniform, and has nothing to do with the main story. The cover title "The Dream... Divided!" is unfitting. And everyone looks like they are trying to take a collective shit… just saying.
We begin the story with an almost full body shot, minus the feet, of Boomer. She is admiring herself in her knew uniform. I won't say anything about the glasses…it was the early 90's. Comics were still in 80's withdrawal. But look at that… chest belt… thing? She has a pocket belt strapped across the top part of her chest, with another strip of pockets going between her breasts. How can this be comfortable at ALL… and who needs THAT many pockets? She seems to be wearing something that looks like a microphone headset or that thing that John Popper wears to play the harmonica. I'm not sure?
We are given ANOTHER title for this story, "The Open Hand, The Closed Fist" It seems one title isn't enough. It isn't great but it works better.
As Boomer is making come-fuck-me poses and talking to herself, Lila Cheney tells her Sam (Cannonball) is back. Boomer makes a backhanded comment about Cannonball wanting Lila. When Lila says they need to talk, Boomer says she can't cause she has a broken jaw.
SO that's what that thing is… her mouth is wired shut. Most people with broken jaws can't speak very well. I mean, I noticed that Boomer's
lettering was smaller than everyone else's… I figured she was just slow or something.
Boomer is jumping for joy at the news that Lila doesn’t want Cannonball. But is cut short when Lila says it will be hard to get him if X-Force ends up doing time in jail. Wait… what did they do? I guess they'll explain that later.
We cut to Sunspot sitting in the grass talking about how he and the other New Mutants use to come out there for privacy. Cause Xavier's wheelchair couldn't go out onto the wet grass. I guess being a mutant doesn't mean your smart. Professor Xavier is the world's most POWERFUL psychic. We cut to Sunspot sitting in the grass talking about how he and the other New Mutants use to come out there for privacy. Cause Xavier's wheelchair couldn't go out onto the wet grass. I guess being a mutant doesn't He doesn't need to wheel out on the grass… he can go INSIDE your head and find out what you're THINKING.
Sunspot cries about how he doesn't know who he is anymore. To deal with his pain Sunspot shoots a solar-ray and burns some grass. It's very emo before emo was emo.
Meanwhile, Shatterstar, Feral, and Rictor are playing around in the
danger room. The voice of the narrator tells us how they never had a chance to train under Xavier. As the workout ends, Beast thinks to himself in full sentences…because that's how nerds with PH D's think? Beast then questions what should be done with X-Force… again I’m sure they tell us what the moose in the room is.
As the three cool down after their workout, they talk about potentially going to jail…
okay, so we know for sure that The Vault is a prison. At least that's something. During this Feral is cleaning herself… ewww! When did this become a furry comic? Rictor comments "Hard to believe even I miss these sessions."… huh? Didn't the man in the caption boxes JUST say how they had never been taught at the school? HOW can he miss them, if he NEVER had THEM!
All this takes place on a very badly laid out page. At some point an editor felt the need to place an arrow between panel one and two to show us where to go. This is "helpful" given that Feral's head from panel four is overlapped with panel one. Leading us from panel one to four. The editor should have made the artist redraw the damn page.
Down by the main computer, Siryn and Warpath are copying programs, cause, as Warpath puts it "Everyone does that." Being pre-Napster, X-Force is ahead of their time.
We now cut to a scene where Cannonball bitches to Xavier about his team being held in the mansion under house arrest. Storm intervenes, with
her only part in the story, telling Cannonball that he is lucky that they are not in jail. Cannonball points out that they haven't been charged yet, and that they didn't do anything the X-Men haven't done already. Still, NOT telling us what they DID.
Cannonball goes on a rant about how Xavier had brought him into the New Mutants, only to hand the team over to Magneto. Which is true, Magneto ended up abandoning them with no place to go. Going from one crazy adventure to another, until Cable found them and took them in. Or as Cannonball puts it "a new driver comes along, maybe not the safest driver around". He makes it sound like Cable molested them at a rest stop.
From here we cut to a bunch of seemingly unimportant crap, that doesn't really forward the plot in this book. Probably, part of the running plot that isn't important enough to tell us about.
Back at the mansion, Boomer has Warpath and Cannonball walk into a HUGE (and I mean Liefeld huge) machine then walk out with their new uniforms—gratuitous number of pocket belts included. Seriously? Cannonball tells them
that they are leaving. Everyone agrees. Because using someone's crap before leaving shows independence.
Outside Xavier talks to Siryn. (Who seems to be having a…"moment" with nature) She explains that not long ago, she felt dead inside and by joining X-Force she found others that were also dead inside… someone cue Nirvana, please. But together as a team, they stopped feeling dead and felt alive again. Sigh… cue Smashing Pumpkins.
X-Force confronts Xavier about leaving. Telling him that his dream is as simple as Magneto's separatist theory. Xavier tells them that they ne
eds to pick between the path of violence and salvation. Cannonball says they will use both. Cause the closed fist can be used to hurt, or to protect, which Cannonball demonstrates by
opening his fist to reveal a mouse… that Feral then eats…again, eww! Then says the open hand can be used to slap. Understanding his point Xavier lets them leave.
Conclusion
Not bad overall… but what the HELL! We are never told what they did that got them put under house arrest. There isn't even an asterisk to tell us where it happened. I know, I know… "I would know what happened if I had read... blah blah blah." But if I'm only reading THIS comic, I need to know; it only needs a sentence, or a "
Previously" page at the beginning. It's kind of important. It is the only thing going on in the comic. You don't have any action to grapple your attention on.
The artwork in this comic is typical of the time, with Liefeld inspirations, pointless, over-the-top melodrama, and LOTS
of pockets. The writing is a bit unfocused, but unlike most X-Force comics at the time, there is a weight of meaning. It talks about the grey area that is walking the path between two extremes, and using violence for the right reasons. Whereas Xavier and Magneto are metaphors for Martin Luther King and Malcolm X. X-Force would be the Black Panther Party of the mutant world.
A lot of the early 90's was filled with lackluster work that flooded the market. But it is an important part of the history of comics. It is when many greedy people tried to take advantage of a booming market only to cause a crash. Artists broke away from the big two for reasons that had more to do with greed then creative freedom. But among the rough there is some diamonds of importance.
Comics in the early 90's are kind of like middle school, or a long-term relationship that ends… we aren't willing to write off a huge part of our lives as "trash" no matter how bad it was. We need to look back at this time in comics and figure out what WAS good, what we learned from it, and not simply throw the baby out with the bath water.
In the late 1980's, Rob Liefeld started writing and drawing the X-Men spin-off book New Mutants. With the introduction of Cable, the book became so popular that New Mutants was renamed X-Force. Liefeld soon left Marvel, along with other top name artists, to form Image. This issue is a few months after Liefeld's departure. Walking into this issue is much like entering the restroom after someone just finished… you can still smell the shit.
X-Force 19
Like most early 90's comics covers, the left-hand corner has headshots of the stars of the book. Which is fine, it's a quick way to know who is in the comic while shopping. The problem is that Domino and Cable's are there, when they DON'T appear in the comic at ALL. In fact Cable is suppose to be "dead".
Professor Xavier, Storm, and Cannonball, the only actual member of X-Force, appear on the main part of the cover. The action here is the most intense part of this book; at no point does anyone fight. Storm on this cover is a joke, she’s only in two pages, never wears her uniform, and has nothing to do with the main story. The cover title "The Dream... Divided!" is unfitting. And everyone looks like they are trying to take a collective shit… just saying.
We begin the story with an almost full body shot, minus the feet, of Boomer. She is admiring herself in her knew uniform. I won't say anything about the glasses…it was the early 90's. Comics were still in 80's withdrawal. But look at that… chest belt… thing? She has a pocket belt strapped across the top part of her chest, with another strip of pockets going between her breasts. How can this be comfortable at ALL… and who needs THAT many pockets? She seems to be wearing something that looks like a microphone headset or that thing that John Popper wears to play the harmonica. I'm not sure?
We are given ANOTHER title for this story, "The Open Hand, The Closed Fist" It seems one title isn't enough. It isn't great but it works better.
As Boomer is making come-fuck-me poses and talking to herself, Lila Cheney tells her Sam (Cannonball) is back. Boomer makes a backhanded comment about Cannonball wanting Lila. When Lila says they need to talk, Boomer says she can't cause she has a broken jaw.SO that's what that thing is… her mouth is wired shut. Most people with broken jaws can't speak very well. I mean, I noticed that Boomer's
lettering was smaller than everyone else's… I figured she was just slow or something.Boomer is jumping for joy at the news that Lila doesn’t want Cannonball. But is cut short when Lila says it will be hard to get him if X-Force ends up doing time in jail. Wait… what did they do? I guess they'll explain that later.
We cut to Sunspot sitting in the grass talking about how he and the other New Mutants use to come out there for privacy. Cause Xavier's wheelchair couldn't go out onto the wet grass. I guess being a mutant doesn't mean your smart. Professor Xavier is the world's most POWERFUL psychic. We cut to Sunspot sitting in the grass talking about how he and the other New Mutants use to come out there for privacy. Cause Xavier's wheelchair couldn't go out onto the wet grass. I guess being a mutant doesn't He doesn't need to wheel out on the grass… he can go INSIDE your head and find out what you're THINKING.
Sunspot cries about how he doesn't know who he is anymore. To deal with his pain Sunspot shoots a solar-ray and burns some grass. It's very emo before emo was emo.
Meanwhile, Shatterstar, Feral, and Rictor are playing around in the
danger room. The voice of the narrator tells us how they never had a chance to train under Xavier. As the workout ends, Beast thinks to himself in full sentences…because that's how nerds with PH D's think? Beast then questions what should be done with X-Force… again I’m sure they tell us what the moose in the room is.As the three cool down after their workout, they talk about potentially going to jail…
okay, so we know for sure that The Vault is a prison. At least that's something. During this Feral is cleaning herself… ewww! When did this become a furry comic? Rictor comments "Hard to believe even I miss these sessions."… huh? Didn't the man in the caption boxes JUST say how they had never been taught at the school? HOW can he miss them, if he NEVER had THEM!All this takes place on a very badly laid out page. At some point an editor felt the need to place an arrow between panel one and two to show us where to go. This is "helpful" given that Feral's head from panel four is overlapped with panel one. Leading us from panel one to four. The editor should have made the artist redraw the damn page.
Down by the main computer, Siryn and Warpath are copying programs, cause, as Warpath puts it "Everyone does that." Being pre-Napster, X-Force is ahead of their time.We now cut to a scene where Cannonball bitches to Xavier about his team being held in the mansion under house arrest. Storm intervenes, with
her only part in the story, telling Cannonball that he is lucky that they are not in jail. Cannonball points out that they haven't been charged yet, and that they didn't do anything the X-Men haven't done already. Still, NOT telling us what they DID.
Cannonball goes on a rant about how Xavier had brought him into the New Mutants, only to hand the team over to Magneto. Which is true, Magneto ended up abandoning them with no place to go. Going from one crazy adventure to another, until Cable found them and took them in. Or as Cannonball puts it "a new driver comes along, maybe not the safest driver around". He makes it sound like Cable molested them at a rest stop.
From here we cut to a bunch of seemingly unimportant crap, that doesn't really forward the plot in this book. Probably, part of the running plot that isn't important enough to tell us about.
Back at the mansion, Boomer has Warpath and Cannonball walk into a HUGE (and I mean Liefeld huge) machine then walk out with their new uniforms—gratuitous number of pocket belts included. Seriously? Cannonball tells them
that they are leaving. Everyone agrees. Because using someone's crap before leaving shows independence.
Outside Xavier talks to Siryn. (Who seems to be having a…"moment" with nature) She explains that not long ago, she felt dead inside and by joining X-Force she found others that were also dead inside… someone cue Nirvana, please. But together as a team, they stopped feeling dead and felt alive again. Sigh… cue Smashing Pumpkins.
X-Force confronts Xavier about leaving. Telling him that his dream is as simple as Magneto's separatist theory. Xavier tells them that they ne
eds to pick between the path of violence and salvation. Cannonball says they will use both. Cause the closed fist can be used to hurt, or to protect, which Cannonball demonstrates by
opening his fist to reveal a mouse… that Feral then eats…again, eww! Then says the open hand can be used to slap. Understanding his point Xavier lets them leave.Conclusion
Not bad overall… but what the HELL! We are never told what they did that got them put under house arrest. There isn't even an asterisk to tell us where it happened. I know, I know… "I would know what happened if I had read... blah blah blah." But if I'm only reading THIS comic, I need to know; it only needs a sentence, or a "
Previously" page at the beginning. It's kind of important. It is the only thing going on in the comic. You don't have any action to grapple your attention on.The artwork in this comic is typical of the time, with Liefeld inspirations, pointless, over-the-top melodrama, and LOTS
of pockets. The writing is a bit unfocused, but unlike most X-Force comics at the time, there is a weight of meaning. It talks about the grey area that is walking the path between two extremes, and using violence for the right reasons. Whereas Xavier and Magneto are metaphors for Martin Luther King and Malcolm X. X-Force would be the Black Panther Party of the mutant world.
A lot of the early 90's was filled with lackluster work that flooded the market. But it is an important part of the history of comics. It is when many greedy people tried to take advantage of a booming market only to cause a crash. Artists broke away from the big two for reasons that had more to do with greed then creative freedom. But among the rough there is some diamonds of importance.Comics in the early 90's are kind of like middle school, or a long-term relationship that ends… we aren't willing to write off a huge part of our lives as "trash" no matter how bad it was. We need to look back at this time in comics and figure out what WAS good, what we learned from it, and not simply throw the baby out with the bath water.
Feb 4, 2009
Mainstream Inking Portfolio 3/3
Last part of my inking portfolio. Today is over Shawn Moll pencils. Unsure of the book, but it has Superman in it.
Feb 3, 2009
Mainstream Inking Portfolio 2/3
Today's section of my inking portfolio is over Christopher Jones pencils for the comic Batman Strikes
Feb 2, 2009
Mainstream Inking Portfolio 1/3
Not long ago I put together an inking portfolio for more mainstream type work. I decided to share them with everyone on the blog. This first set is on Adam Kubert pencils of a Captain America story.
Jan 30, 2009
Batman Number 1, 4/4: The Joker Returns
To read the first parts of this review: Part 1/4 Part 2/4 Part 3/4
The Joker Returns
FINALLY!! Oh my God it's been like twenty-six pages. They SURE took their time bringing him BACK. How can you have The Joker return in the SAME issue that he debuted. It's not like they released the comic, got feed back, found out he was a well received villain, and THEN decided to bring him back. It's like being at a friend's house, saying goodbye, and then walking into the bathroom and taking a shit. Only to walk back out and tell people how much you missed them, and that's it's been a so long since you've seen each other. Being in the next room doesn't count as leaving.
So there isn't much to this story. In jail, The Joker unscrews two of his teeth… ah… yeah… where he keeps the two components of an explosive, to blow himself out. Cause the best place to keep shit is IN YOUR TEETH. It's The Joker… I'll let it go… he is nuts. After breaking out of jail The Joker goes to his hideout, which is under a graveyard that is entered by a trap door under a tombstone. I'll give you a second to comprehend that… okay, you good… let's move on.
Like the LAST time, The Joker hijacks the radio waves saying how he'll kill so and so and steal this and that. He carries through with two threats, while Batman is doing nothing, AGAIN. I've already commented on this lazy writing in the first part of the review. But to do the same lazy writing AGAIN in the same issue, no less, is just plain sloth.
Batman finally goes after The Joker, where he gets his ass handed to him… AGAIN. Oh... but it's not in the same way. The Joker uses an ax, instead of kicking him in the
head… so THAT makes it completely different. Before The Joker can kill Batman though, police come, and start shooting at Batman. At least Kane and Finger remembered he was a vigilante.
So The Joker says he's going to kill Edgar Martin at nine o'clock, just cause Martin said some shit about him. The Joker kills him by lacing a deck of cards with
Joker Venom, so that at said time Martin would cut himself on the cards and die. What kind of half ASSED long shot is THAT! A bullshit one, that's what. How the HELL could The Joker know that Edgar Martin would want to play solitaire while the police watch over him. Let alone know that he would slip and cut himself AT nine o'clock… WHAT THE FUCK. My suspension of disbelief is stretched enough as it is with a man dressed up as a bat, but to add explosives kept in someone's teeth, and now THIS crap… no… NO… I'm calling bullshit. BULLSHIT!
In his street clothes, Bruce Wayne convinces Commissioner Gordon to place false news articles in the newspaper about a "Fire Ruby" to set The Joker up for a trap. The Joker falls for it, being the queen he is, saying that he will take
the ruby over the radio. When The Joker shows up, the police are ready with gasmasks, so The Joker can't use his Venom on them. So he pulls out guns and shoots them instead. I laughed my ASS off so hard at this part. The police think that they have finally outsmarted The Joker. They didn't even stop to think he might have a real gun.
Fleeing from the trap, The Joker is followed by Robin. Robin in turn gets punched in the face and falls off a building, catching himself at the last minute on a
flag poll. On the street below Batman confronts The Joker. To which The Jokers says that he remembers that Batman has a bulletproof vest on and will therefore aim for his head. Or as I like to think of it "I'll shoot you in the face bitch!"
Robin falls on top of The Joker knocking the gun out of his hand. So The Joker pulls out a knife. But when he strikes, Batman jumps out of the way… and… The Joker ends up stabbing… himself in the chest? Was he drunk or something? HOW the HELL do you stab yourself accidentally! If I stabbed myself, my friends would shit themselves laughing.
As the police arrive Batman and Robin leave. In the ambulance the doctor realizes that The Joker is still alive… DUM DUM DUM!
Although this is the end of the story, the last panel on the page is a call to arms to become one of "Robin's Regulars." Bec
ause Robin has been irregular lately and needs your help to get his bowels moving again, so stick a finger up there and get things moving again. "Robin's Regulars" are kids who live by Robin's code and do lame shit like help old people cross the street and say gay shit like: "Always be helpful to those who need help!" What is Robin's code? I'm glad you asked, it seems ROBIN is an acronym for: Readiness, Obedience, Brotherhood, Industriousness, and Nationalism. So you are to obey, work hard, and be ready at a whim for what ever your "brothers" want you to do for your country. Jesus Christ this is like a Hitler Youth group for kids who like to wear capes.
Conclusion
On an ascetic level this comic is not the greatest. Like most, if not all, Golden Age comics the writing is stiff, the dialog is nothing like what a real person sounds like, and the stories are repetitive and interchangeable. In the course of the whole comic there is only one panel that didn’t have word balloons and caption boxes piled on top of it. The art, like the writing, is stiff. Everyone looks indifferent to what is going on around them. And the inking tends to leave everything flat. There are far worse examples of writing and art in comics, but there is also far better.
This comic is important for historical reasons. It is one of the early books, along with Superman, to be based on a single character. Breaking away from the anthology format that was the standard. Comic books were starting to come into their own, and break away from the strips. Which was at their peaks, in both popularity and substance. As my friend Brett Von Schlosser pointed out to me, there are MANY similarities between Batman stories of this time and the oh-so popular comic strip Dick Tracy. Dick Tracy did it better, being short daily episodes. But Batman has become the more popular by contemporary standards. Batman, and comics as a whole, at this time were still trying to find their own ground in the longer format. This comic is also important cause… well… it’s the Goddamn Batman!
The Joker ReturnsFINALLY!! Oh my God it's been like twenty-six pages. They SURE took their time bringing him BACK. How can you have The Joker return in the SAME issue that he debuted. It's not like they released the comic, got feed back, found out he was a well received villain, and THEN decided to bring him back. It's like being at a friend's house, saying goodbye, and then walking into the bathroom and taking a shit. Only to walk back out and tell people how much you missed them, and that's it's been a so long since you've seen each other. Being in the next room doesn't count as leaving.
So there isn't much to this story. In jail, The Joker unscrews two of his teeth… ah… yeah… where he keeps the two components of an explosive, to blow himself out. Cause the best place to keep shit is IN YOUR TEETH. It's The Joker… I'll let it go… he is nuts. After breaking out of jail The Joker goes to his hideout, which is under a graveyard that is entered by a trap door under a tombstone. I'll give you a second to comprehend that… okay, you good… let's move on.
Like the LAST time, The Joker hijacks the radio waves saying how he'll kill so and so and steal this and that. He carries through with two threats, while Batman is doing nothing, AGAIN. I've already commented on this lazy writing in the first part of the review. But to do the same lazy writing AGAIN in the same issue, no less, is just plain sloth.
Batman finally goes after The Joker, where he gets his ass handed to him… AGAIN. Oh... but it's not in the same way. The Joker uses an ax, instead of kicking him in the
head… so THAT makes it completely different. Before The Joker can kill Batman though, police come, and start shooting at Batman. At least Kane and Finger remembered he was a vigilante.So The Joker says he's going to kill Edgar Martin at nine o'clock, just cause Martin said some shit about him. The Joker kills him by lacing a deck of cards with
Joker Venom, so that at said time Martin would cut himself on the cards and die. What kind of half ASSED long shot is THAT! A bullshit one, that's what. How the HELL could The Joker know that Edgar Martin would want to play solitaire while the police watch over him. Let alone know that he would slip and cut himself AT nine o'clock… WHAT THE FUCK. My suspension of disbelief is stretched enough as it is with a man dressed up as a bat, but to add explosives kept in someone's teeth, and now THIS crap… no… NO… I'm calling bullshit. BULLSHIT!In his street clothes, Bruce Wayne convinces Commissioner Gordon to place false news articles in the newspaper about a "Fire Ruby" to set The Joker up for a trap. The Joker falls for it, being the queen he is, saying that he will take
the ruby over the radio. When The Joker shows up, the police are ready with gasmasks, so The Joker can't use his Venom on them. So he pulls out guns and shoots them instead. I laughed my ASS off so hard at this part. The police think that they have finally outsmarted The Joker. They didn't even stop to think he might have a real gun.Fleeing from the trap, The Joker is followed by Robin. Robin in turn gets punched in the face and falls off a building, catching himself at the last minute on a
flag poll. On the street below Batman confronts The Joker. To which The Jokers says that he remembers that Batman has a bulletproof vest on and will therefore aim for his head. Or as I like to think of it "I'll shoot you in the face bitch!"
Robin falls on top of The Joker knocking the gun out of his hand. So The Joker pulls out a knife. But when he strikes, Batman jumps out of the way… and… The Joker ends up stabbing… himself in the chest? Was he drunk or something? HOW the HELL do you stab yourself accidentally! If I stabbed myself, my friends would shit themselves laughing.
As the police arrive Batman and Robin leave. In the ambulance the doctor realizes that The Joker is still alive… DUM DUM DUM!
Although this is the end of the story, the last panel on the page is a call to arms to become one of "Robin's Regulars." Bec
ause Robin has been irregular lately and needs your help to get his bowels moving again, so stick a finger up there and get things moving again. "Robin's Regulars" are kids who live by Robin's code and do lame shit like help old people cross the street and say gay shit like: "Always be helpful to those who need help!" What is Robin's code? I'm glad you asked, it seems ROBIN is an acronym for: Readiness, Obedience, Brotherhood, Industriousness, and Nationalism. So you are to obey, work hard, and be ready at a whim for what ever your "brothers" want you to do for your country. Jesus Christ this is like a Hitler Youth group for kids who like to wear capes.Conclusion
On an ascetic level this comic is not the greatest. Like most, if not all, Golden Age comics the writing is stiff, the dialog is nothing like what a real person sounds like, and the stories are repetitive and interchangeable. In the course of the whole comic there is only one panel that didn’t have word balloons and caption boxes piled on top of it. The art, like the writing, is stiff. Everyone looks indifferent to what is going on around them. And the inking tends to leave everything flat. There are far worse examples of writing and art in comics, but there is also far better.
This comic is important for historical reasons. It is one of the early books, along with Superman, to be based on a single character. Breaking away from the anthology format that was the standard. Comic books were starting to come into their own, and break away from the strips. Which was at their peaks, in both popularity and substance. As my friend Brett Von Schlosser pointed out to me, there are MANY similarities between Batman stories of this time and the oh-so popular comic strip Dick Tracy. Dick Tracy did it better, being short daily episodes. But Batman has become the more popular by contemporary standards. Batman, and comics as a whole, at this time were still trying to find their own ground in the longer format. This comic is also important cause… well… it’s the Goddamn Batman!
Jan 29, 2009
Batman Number 1, 3/4: The Cat
Part one can be found here, part two can be found here
The Cat
I know what you are thinking, and YES, this title is referring to Catwoman. Although she does not go by that full title, not called Selina Kyle, nor wear the signature costume. But the villain returns in later issues and slowly becomes Catwoman.
Bruce Wayne reads in the newspaper about Mrs. Travers having a yacht party in which she is bringing her most prized diamond necklace. NOTE…she won't be wearing it. She just felt like bring it on board. Cause that's what I do when I throw a yacht party; I bring my most valuable procession with me. Bruce thinks that all the publicity of the party will make the boat a target. So he has Dick go undercover as a waiter.
As everyone boards the yacht, Mrs. Travers welcomes her nephew Danny, who has brought along a guest, Miss Peggs, an elderly woman. I wonder why he's hanging out with an old lady…
the only reason I can think of is…. Ewww. God I hope they're crooks… cause the other option is gross.
Through much exposition we find out a bunch of crap we already know. As Dick follows Danny, he finds a note he meant to throw away, that is signed by The Cat!!! Saying "Keep your aunt away from the room! Will try then!"… WOW, that Cat sure knows how to be subtle.
Not much later Mrs. Travers comes screaming about how her necklace was taken. She must check on it every 5 minutes—glad to see she's such a good host. As they try to figure out who stole it, a boat with gangsters pulls up. They want the necklace. Mrs. Travers laughs telling them 
that it's already gone…that's a smart idea; let's LAUGH at the men with guns. But this IS the same chick that takes her most valuable necklace with her on a well-publicized yacht.
Upset, the gangsters take all the other jewelry from the party guests. Dick punches a few before jumping in the sea. Why? Who knows? The gangsters make a break for it, only to run into Batman a short time later. How he knew they were co
ming, I can't tell you. Robin soon joins him and they lasso and tie up the gangsters.
GREAT they caught this set of bad guys. Good. Okay time to hurry back to the yacht so you can…what? You're not done? It turns out that Batman wants to untie two of them so Robin can beat them up.
WHAT the HELL! "I know we caught them, but how about you kick the shit out of a few of them Robin, it will be FUN!" What kind of sadistic tendency is THAT.
After beating up the two men, to the point that they beg Robin to stop. Batman then turns to look out of the panel, breaking the fourth wall, to say how this shows that
with out guns crooks are "yellow" and you shouldn't be like them.. because you should learn to hit, cause hurting people just for the fun of it is COOL. And where the hell does Batman get off giving an anti-gun message. He just GUNNED DOWN two trucks in the last story.
Having wasted time, Batman and Robin return to the yacht where they are having a masquerade ball. 'Cause after I get held up at gun point, I want to dance the night away dressed up in a costume, not deal with the trauma of being robbed, or return to dock to file a police report. NO! I want to party. I mean… did Bob Kane and Bill
Finger give ANY thought about this… AT ALL!
Anyway… so Batman enters the party to return everyone's jewels, and is given first prize for best costume…that isn't a joke, they really give him first prize. Elsewhere Robin pulls the fire alarm, this causes everyone to run off the dance floor, the old woman that came aboard with Danny also runs, causing Batman to figure out she is the jewel thief, The Cat. Of course he would have had to know that already, cause she WAS the ONLY person that ran that wasn't suppose to be able to.
Unmasking The Cat as a beautiful woman, she asks Batman to join her as the king to her queen of crime. After saying that he's
tempted, he turns her down… since when is Batman tempted to commit crimes. That's kind of Batman's thing, fighting crime. Why’s that? Because it's a woman,
and Batman can only think with his utility-belt. That makes sense, especially since he didn't tie her up at all, let's her escape, and STOPS Robin from going after her. He then talks about how good looking she was, and hopes he runs into her again.
What the hell!
Batman needs to stop hanging out with a teenage boy, and get laid. For REAL. He's so horny; he lets a criminal get away cause she's good
looking. If The Cat had cankles and a flat chest, Batman would have beat’ her ass and taken her to jail. Bruce Wayne is a billionaire; it can't be THAT hard to get some girl to blow him. Hell, he can just get himself a whore if he's that bad at picking up women. When your dick keeps you from doing your job, you need to at least rub one out once and while.
The CatI know what you are thinking, and YES, this title is referring to Catwoman. Although she does not go by that full title, not called Selina Kyle, nor wear the signature costume. But the villain returns in later issues and slowly becomes Catwoman.
Bruce Wayne reads in the newspaper about Mrs. Travers having a yacht party in which she is bringing her most prized diamond necklace. NOTE…she won't be wearing it. She just felt like bring it on board. Cause that's what I do when I throw a yacht party; I bring my most valuable procession with me. Bruce thinks that all the publicity of the party will make the boat a target. So he has Dick go undercover as a waiter.
As everyone boards the yacht, Mrs. Travers welcomes her nephew Danny, who has brought along a guest, Miss Peggs, an elderly woman. I wonder why he's hanging out with an old lady…
the only reason I can think of is…. Ewww. God I hope they're crooks… cause the other option is gross.Through much exposition we find out a bunch of crap we already know. As Dick follows Danny, he finds a note he meant to throw away, that is signed by The Cat!!! Saying "Keep your aunt away from the room! Will try then!"… WOW, that Cat sure knows how to be subtle.
Not much later Mrs. Travers comes screaming about how her necklace was taken. She must check on it every 5 minutes—glad to see she's such a good host. As they try to figure out who stole it, a boat with gangsters pulls up. They want the necklace. Mrs. Travers laughs telling them 
that it's already gone…that's a smart idea; let's LAUGH at the men with guns. But this IS the same chick that takes her most valuable necklace with her on a well-publicized yacht.Upset, the gangsters take all the other jewelry from the party guests. Dick punches a few before jumping in the sea. Why? Who knows? The gangsters make a break for it, only to run into Batman a short time later. How he knew they were co
ming, I can't tell you. Robin soon joins him and they lasso and tie up the gangsters.GREAT they caught this set of bad guys. Good. Okay time to hurry back to the yacht so you can…what? You're not done? It turns out that Batman wants to untie two of them so Robin can beat them up.
WHAT the HELL! "I know we caught them, but how about you kick the shit out of a few of them Robin, it will be FUN!" What kind of sadistic tendency is THAT.After beating up the two men, to the point that they beg Robin to stop. Batman then turns to look out of the panel, breaking the fourth wall, to say how this shows that
with out guns crooks are "yellow" and you shouldn't be like them.. because you should learn to hit, cause hurting people just for the fun of it is COOL. And where the hell does Batman get off giving an anti-gun message. He just GUNNED DOWN two trucks in the last story.Having wasted time, Batman and Robin return to the yacht where they are having a masquerade ball. 'Cause after I get held up at gun point, I want to dance the night away dressed up in a costume, not deal with the trauma of being robbed, or return to dock to file a police report. NO! I want to party. I mean… did Bob Kane and Bill
Finger give ANY thought about this… AT ALL!Anyway… so Batman enters the party to return everyone's jewels, and is given first prize for best costume…that isn't a joke, they really give him first prize. Elsewhere Robin pulls the fire alarm, this causes everyone to run off the dance floor, the old woman that came aboard with Danny also runs, causing Batman to figure out she is the jewel thief, The Cat. Of course he would have had to know that already, cause she WAS the ONLY person that ran that wasn't suppose to be able to.
Unmasking The Cat as a beautiful woman, she asks Batman to join her as the king to her queen of crime. After saying that he's
tempted, he turns her down… since when is Batman tempted to commit crimes. That's kind of Batman's thing, fighting crime. Why’s that? Because it's a woman,
and Batman can only think with his utility-belt. That makes sense, especially since he didn't tie her up at all, let's her escape, and STOPS Robin from going after her. He then talks about how good looking she was, and hopes he runs into her again.What the hell!
Batman needs to stop hanging out with a teenage boy, and get laid. For REAL. He's so horny; he lets a criminal get away cause she's good
looking. If The Cat had cankles and a flat chest, Batman would have beat’ her ass and taken her to jail. Bruce Wayne is a billionaire; it can't be THAT hard to get some girl to blow him. Hell, he can just get himself a whore if he's that bad at picking up women. When your dick keeps you from doing your job, you need to at least rub one out once and while.Tomorrow: The Return of The Joker
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